OK this is Planet Plastic, there is no coffee and I feel my soul ebbing away each time we enter and the sponsorship deals are so in-your-face...
BUT the children love it, there is a fabulous art studio, proper carousel, full-size ambulance, VELCRO'd car mechanic workshop, play-shop with barcode scanner that beeps, brand new water-play fountains, DIY mini-theatre and crazy (plastic!) caves... plus there is an apple tree they are addicted to gathering 'fruit' from - red plastic balls of course.
The staff are so sweet and know both girls - though I suspect the Code Red alert M caused on her first visit has marked us out. The police were on their way, before we finally found her hidden in the top of a plastic (!) palm tree.